Back to School: Parenting Tips

By: Susan Chalfin, PhD

Back-to-school bells will be ringing soon, and the roadways will once again be busy as children make their way to and from classes. The anticipation of the start of the school year can evoke mixed feelings for families. Children and adolescents are typically excited to see their friends. Parents are eager for the structure that the school day brings and the freedom from kids underfoot 24/7.

Feelings of sadness and anxiety are typical as well. Families may miss the carefree days of summer, sleeping in and staying up late, and fun times spent together at the beach, pool, or away on vacation. More importantly parents and children alike may be anxious about what the new school year will bring.

Anxieties relating to the new school-year vary at different ages and depend on specific situations. Younger children may fear separating from parents and adjusting to a new environment. Adolescents starting middle or high school may be anxious about the social and academic expectations in a new environment as they move from being the big fish in the pond to being the newbie. Seniors may be apprehensive about college and job prospects and finishing their high school education. Parents worry about their children’s well-being, socially and academically. And everyone worries about handling the homework load.

The key to a successful start is recognizing and identifying the worries and preparing for them. Some helpful preparation strategies include:

• Gradually shift sleep patterns beginning one to two weeks prior to the start of school, so children of all ages are ready for the earlier waking hours.
• When possible, visit the school one or two weeks prior to the opening day to meet the teacher and orient children to the campus, showing them their classroom and other important places (e.g., cafeteria, gym, playground, administrative office, nurse’s office, etc.)
• Shop for school supplies and clothing early to avoid the last minute rush.
• Before the start of school, teach children safety strategies and how to handle emergencies, making sure young children know their home address and phone contact information.
• Schedule time at home for play, meals, and homework, as well as bedtime for the school year.  Children should have at least eight to 10 hours of sleep each night to be rested for classes.
• Provide children and adolescents with a healthy breakfast to provide them with the energy needed to start the school day.

It is important for parents to encourage children to talk openly about their feelings regarding the start of school. Instead of trying to simply negate their fears, be supportive and understanding, and let them know that everyone feels anxious. In a calm manner provide them with effective strategies for coping with and addressing their anxieties to increase their sense of competence, whether the topic is how to buy lunch in the cafeteria, or how to deal with a bully.

Be sure to stress the positives of going to school. At the end of the school day, ask about and allow them to talk about their day. Praise them for their successes and help them consider alternative ways to handle problems that they encounter more effectively.

Some younger children or adolescents may experience overwhelming anxieties that need professional help. Signs of significant anxiety can include:

• Increased or decreased sleep or appetite
• Recurrent nightmares
• Irritability
• Aches and pains without a physical cause
• Excessive crying or tantrums
• Aggression
• Social avoidance
• Refusing to go to school.

When anxieties do not resolve and are severe enough that they interfere with normal functioning, talk with the child’s school counselor, pediatrician, or a mental health professional for advice.

Going back to school is one of the best times of the year for both parents and students. You can do your part to make sure that is one of the most enjoyable and productive times in a child’s life.

Susan Chalfin, PhD, is a clinical psychologist at Jackson Behavioral Health Hospital. For more information on Jackson Behavioral Health Hospital, visit JacksonHealth.org. For a free confidential screening and referral, call 305-324-HELP.