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I wasn’t raped. So why do I feel this way?

black and white woman bench

Health & Wellness

Rape is a traumatic experience – one that may have an impact beyond the victim.

Rape can affect the survivor’s significant other, friends, family, witnesses, crime scene responders, and others who are connected to the survivor in some way. These individuals are often referred to as “secondary victims.” They are impacted by a phenomenon known as the “ripple effect,” which occurs in response to experiencing or witnessing a painful event.

Friends and family of a survivor often need support, too. As secondary victims, it is important that they have an opportunity to talk about their experience and how it is affecting them.

Although the secondary victims are often concerned for the survivor, it is sometimes hard for them to separate themselves and be objective. Secondary victims may:

  • Be fearful and/or angry towards the survivor.
  • Assume the survivor should react in a certain way and be judgmental if he/she does not.
  • Become overly protective or accusatory towards the survivor in an attempt to gain control over the situation and try to help.
  • Attempt to prevent future victimizations, or “take matters into their own hands.”
  • Feel helpless.
  • Suffer from depression.

It is normal for secondary victims to experience some or all of these feelings. In order to heal, it is important to recognize these feelings and talk to someone about these issues.  Friends and family of the survivor can access free confidential services at the Roxcy Bolton Rape Treatment Center at Jackson Memorial Hospital.

If you or someone you know is the victim of sexual assault, or if you have questions or need help, call the Roxcy Bolton Rape Treatment Center’s confidential helpline at 305-585-7273 or visit https://jacksonhealth.org/services-rape-treatment . Help is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

June Ellis, MS, RN, has her Master’s degree in Forensic Nursing and was the Director of the SANE (Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner) Program in Massachusetts for many years.  Ellis has worked in various emergency department leadership positions for many years.  Ellis is currently the Executive Director of the Roxcy Bolton Rape Treatment Center and the Director of Nursing for the Jackson Memorial Emergency Department.