Puberty in Children: What Parents Should Know About Early Changes and Development 

As kids head back to school, many parents face a tough question: how do I talk to my child about puberty?

Stefanie R. Brown, MD, MBA, FACP, FAAP, internist in pediatrics at Holtz Children’s Hospital and chief of pediatric internal medicine at UHealth – University of Miami Health System, says the answer starts earlier than most parents think, and it doesn’t have to be one big, awkward talk.

Many parents wait until they see physical changes, or until their child reaches high school, to bring up puberty. Dr. Brown says that’s too late.

“You should start to prep and talk about it around ages seven or eight,” she said.

By that age, some kids are already beginning puberty.

“If they don’t get the information from parents, they’re going to get the information from their friends,” she said. “And that might not be accurate information.”

• Puberty looks different for boys and girls, but both go through major shifts:
• Girls usually see breast development first, followed by their period a year or two later.
• Boys see subtler early signs: the testicles grow larger, followed by a deeper voice.
• Both develop underarm and pubic hair, body odor, acne, and stronger emotions.
• Both become more focused on their looks and what friends think of them.

Rather than sitting a child down for one big talk, Dr. Brown recommends easing into the subject during everyday moments:

• Bring it up while driving or shopping for deodorant.
• Use a scene from a TV show as a natural opening.
• Ask simple questions like, “What body changes have you heard kids talking about at school?”
• Remind your child that “nothing about your body is shameful,” and that they can always ask questions.

Because kids develop at different rates, teasing can happen. Dr. Brown suggests giving kids simple, confident responses, such as: “Everyone’s body develops at a different time, so please stop teasing me.”

Research shows that, on average, some Black girls, and occasionally Black boys, may begin some stages of puberty earlier than their white peers. However, Dr. Brown cautions against assumptions.

“That doesn’t mean that every Black child will mature early, and we should never use race to dismiss anything concerning,” she said. “Any rapid or unusual changes should still be discussed with a pediatrician.”

Dr. Brown adds that once puberty begins, daily hygiene matters more. She offered these few tips:

• Shower daily and use deodorant after sweating.
• Wash the face gently. Harsh scrubbing can worsen dark marks or keloid, which is a thick scar tissue that grows after a skin injury.
• Moisturize tightly coiled hair often; avoid heat and chemical damage.
• Loosen tight braids, extensions, and ponytails, or wear a scarf or a satin cap at night.

Puberty affects mood, not just the body. Dr. Brown says parents should watch for persistent sadness, irritability, withdrawal, declining grades, changes in sleep or appetite, or avoiding school.

She stresses that parents should never dismiss these signs as “just hormones.” She also recommends limiting the effects of social media by reminding kids that people usually only post their best moments, and by following credible medical accounts, like the American Academy of Pediatrics, that reflect a range of body types, skin tones, and hair textures.

Dr. Brown’s biggest piece of advice for parents is simple: start early, keep talking, and remove the shame.
“Every kid deserves accurate information before those changes begin, so that they’re not shocked by it, or caught off guard by it,” she said.

Remember, if your child develops earlier, later, or differently than others, Dr. Brown always reminds parents that it doesn’t diminish their worth.

If you’re looking to speak to a pediatrician about your child, or have questions about puberty or development, pediatricians at UHealth Jackson Children’s Care can help. Visit https://pediatrics.jacksonhealth.org/ for more information, and book your appointment today.